"Money," a holocaust survivor declared at one lunch-n-learn, "is only appreciated when you lose it."
Parting, then, is a sorrow. And whatever sweetness might be present is only an accentuated memory, now made tender because it is lost.
So goodbyes are touching and memories are by nature evocative, but loss, just plain loss is, well, loss. An absence of something you want. And because you once had it, you now know what you are missing.
There is a story of the Baal Shem Tov and a barren couple. He blesses them that they will have a child, a little boy, within the year. The child is born and dies before his third birthday.
"Rebbe," they beseech him, "if it was not meant to be that we have a baby then we should not have had a baby. But that the Almighty should give him to us only to take him away?"
Loss has no redeeming qualities, and when suggestions are made of what good comes from being robbed, they ring as unappreciative. Unappreciative that the one suggesting G-d's reason for the loss doesn't appreciate what has been lost.
For forty years he led his flock through the desert. That is how the Bible stories tell it.
Some flock! They challenged him every bit of the way. He had to literally fight with them, with swords and spears. They accused him of nepotism, taking financial impropriety, illegitimate marriage, double standards and when none of these stuck they said they would rather be slaves in Egypt. . .where they could eat cucumbers. (These are direct quotes.)
Nor did they all even go to his funeral. Aaron his brother's funeral was nearly twice as well attended. So neither in life nor in death was he adored or even accepted. Still he is forever more our teacher, our leader. Moshe Rabbenu, Moses our Rebbe. Being a leader and being popular do not mean the same thing.
Now in this parsha he is told that he will not be leading his people further. He asks the One who sent him: whoever is replacing me, don't give him such a hard time. I never asked for this job, but you insisted. I took it. And then when I was ready to lead the people into the land, you took the job away form me. Don't do this to my protégé.
My successor is going to have to deal with all sorts of characters. Make him of character that he will be able to relate to each of them according to their character.
And make him a leader. Those who seek leadership don't lead: they stand out front and take consensus of which way the winds of fashion want them to blow that day and they walk there ahead of everyone and call that leadership. Like a dog on a leash that runs ahead of its master but is controlled from behind.
Make him a leader, Oh G-d, make him a leader.
Leadership is felt in its absence. Moses pleads, "Don't give them a reason to miss me."
ב"ה